*Pre-note: ANOTHER VERY SPECIAL THANK YOU to the folks at Bustle Magazine, where this was originally published on April 25, 2018. Kristine Fellizar, a writer at Bustle, ONCE AGAIN very skillfully, cleverly, and seamlessly combined the feedback of professional astrologers (myself and Suzie Kerr Wright). Thank you again, Bustle!
Everyone comes into relationships with their own set of insecurities. But when you're so caught up in your own insecurities, it's hard to recognize that your partner has some as well. Although your insecurities may differ, your partner is probably just as worried about what you think of them. But with the help of astrology, you can figure out what your partner's insecurities in your relationship are so you can have a happy and healthy partnership."
We all have insecurities, but with romantic relationships those insecurities might be different than our general insecurities," astrologer Cindy Mckean tells Bustle. "Partnership is a two-way road, so there's likely to be insecurities about how what they give is perceived, as well as being insecure about a certain type of characteristic in a partner (i.e. what they receive)."
The problem with insecurity is it can really hold your relationship back from being the best it can be. When you're insecure in your relationship, you stop living in the present. When your partner is feeling insecure, it might be hard to feel close to them. Although your partner's zodiac sign may not be a definite indicator of what makes them feel unsure, using it as a guide may help you glean more insight into what they may be insecure about. Here are your partner's potential relationship insecurities, based on their zodiac sign.
Aries (March 21 - April 19): Being Overpowered And Too Demanding
Aries loves to be number one at everything. So it shouldn't surprise you that Aries tend to get insecure when they feel like they're being overpowered in their relationship. "They want to do whatever they want, but expect a partner to follow them and be just as excited as they are about things," astrologer and psychic medium, Suzie Kerr Wright tells Bustle. That's not to say Aries don't value equal partnerships. They just tend to get insecure when they feel like they're not mostly in control.
When it comes to giving love, Mckean says Aries are insecure about giving too many demands. "How demanding they are is relative to how strong their partner is," she says. "Nonetheless, they still don't like to turn off someone by asking too much." They have high amounts of energy and the right partner can keep up with them. It's all about achieving balance.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20): Rushing In Too Quickly And Going Too Slowly
Taurus value security and stability. Because of that, Wright says, they tend to get super nervous when that stability is threatened. They're loyal and romantic, so they expect the same from their partner in return.
Since they take commitment super seriously, they don't like to rush it. "At the same time, they don't want to lose who they love for moving too slow," McKean says. "If a Taurus can find someone like-minded, they could be 'The One.'"
Gemini (May 21 - June 20): Miscommunication And Feeling Left Out
Geminis hate to be left out of anything, Wright says. "They need to know everything all the time." That's why partners who don't communicate well won't really last long with them.
Likewise, they're also insecure about being misunderstood. As McKean says, miscommunication is frustrating to them when it comes to their romantic partnerships. "The solution is very easy for a Gemini," she says. "As flexible as they are and know to be wordsmiths, they can avoid the problem of miscommunication by being more straightforward and less verbose." In short, sometimes less is more. So as long as you communicate and really take the time to understand them, your relationship with a Gemini will be good.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22): Not Being Appreciated And Abandonment
Cancers are known for being the nurturers of the zodiac, so they're biggest insecurity is being unappreciated. "They do so much for everyone without asking for anything in return," Wright says. But if their partner doesn't occasionally give them props, they may become resentful and even fearful. "This is one sign that is always afraid that they are not loved or liked by others," she says.
According to Mckean, Cancers will also be the first to admit that they need people around them. They're known for being sensitive. When it comes to love, she says they tend to be more sensitive and vulnerable "than is convenient." They know this and that's why their other big insecurity is abandonment. "That can mean anything from a partner leaving to simply being detached," she says. "A little reassurance can go a very long way with a Cancer."
Leo (July 23 - August 22): Being Ignored And Losing Their Vitality
Nobody likes being ignored by their partner, but it's especially tough for a Leo. "This is a sign that was born to be in the spotlight," McKean says. So being ignored is "tragic" for them. "This is their biggest source of insecurity in a relationship because it translates to not having the magic with their partner," she says.
Besides that, a deeper insecurity they have is losing their vitality. According to Wright, it's devastating for a Leo to not be able to just jump in and help, do something they love to do, or have all the answers. "They need a lot of positive reinforcement from a partner and loved ones in order to feel fully secure," she says.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22): Having High Standards And Being Rigid
Virgos tend to get very insecure about being wrong and letting themselves down. "They have impossibly high standards for themselves and their partners and when either falls short it can cut them to the core," Wright says. They're the types who might spend weeks and months working on ways to make sure their past mistakes never happen again.
They're also known for being creatures of habit. With that comes the insecurity that they're too rigid with their partners. "Virgos are a mutable sign (they are able to be adaptable and flexible), so there's nothing to worry about," Mckean says. "Still, ever detail-oriented, the Virgo will continuously self-monitor. Overall, this is healthy for a Virgo since knowing that everything is in place makes them more even-keeled." Letting your partner know that you love them and understand how they are can help ease their insecurities.
Libra (September 23 - October 22): Making A Wrong Decision And Overdoing The Romance
Libras are represented by scales. So it's no surprise that their biggest insecurity is making a wrong decision. According to Wright, Libras might wear themselves (and their partner) out by going over and over the scenarios of what's best to do even after they do make a decision. "They are another sign that [wants] to be liked and they go out of their way to show their best side to others," she says. That's why a partner who is willing to be by their side is important in making them feel secure.
Like Taurus, Libra is ruled by the planet of love. Because of that, they're all about romance and partnership. As Mckean says, that can be a major source of insecurity if their partner isn't into that. Libras do like to be fair to everyone so they will do their best to make their partner happy. But at the end of the day, they might just see it as a compatibility issue and find someone else who will appreciate their grand gestures of romance. If you want to keep them in your life, let them know how you like to be shown love. That way they can adjust and find things you'd actually appreciate.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21): Being Lied To And Being Too Vulnerable
"Scorpios are obsessed with ferreting out information just to make sure no one ever gets a one-up on them," Wright says. Scorpios tend to expect undying loyalty in their relationships. "They are terrified of being judged or humiliated and betrayal often brings that," she says.
They may seem tough and intense, but that comes from the insecurity of being too vulnerable. "They tend to see it as a kind of weakness," Mckean says. "Nonetheless, they're no fools." As long as you're honest and trustworthy, you might find your Scorpio letting their walls down slowly.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21): Being With A Partner Who Needs Them Present All The Time And Letting Someone Down
Sagittarius are fun, adventurous, and often on the move. They love to live in the present and always look forward to the future. According to Mckean, a partner who needs them to be there a ton can make a Sag insecure. They don't want to feel like they're somehow holding their partner back from truly getting the relationship they want. "They want a partner who can run alongside them," she says. "If you can take care of yourself, Sagittarius will feel more inclined to get closer to you."
As a lover of people and known to take pride in their integrity, they also don't want to let anyone down. Although it really isn't much of a source of insecurity for a Sagittarius, knowing that they unintentionally let someone down can be a major bummer for them. "They will do their best to make things right, and they almost always manage to," Mckean says. "Their cheerfulness and optimism can lift up the spirits of almost anyone."
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19): Failing And Not Being Fun Enough
Capricorns, like Virgos, hold themselves to high standards. "Failure is not an option for them," Wright says. "They set goals constantly and whenever they fall short, they beat themselves up." That's why setbacks in any aspect of their life can cause their insecurities to flare up and they may take it out on everyone close to them.
They're known for being hardworking and responsible. For a Cap, it's work first, play later. But it's no secret that prioritizing work over play can put a damper on any relationship. "They're serious and responsible but they understand that it's important to have a little fun with their partner," Mckean says. "Their big insecurity is that they wouldn't be enough fun." If you let your partner know that you're having a good time with them, they'll really appreciate it.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18): Having Nothing To Contribute And Feeling Restricted
"An Aquarius doesn't demand freedom, they just live it," Mckean says. That's why their biggest insecurity might be being involved with someone that restricts their freedom. They have their own "unique social code," but not everyone can see it clearly. Other than that, "being boring" or not having much to contribute is another insecurity for them. So if you give them freedom to just be them and let them feel like they're special, your relationship will be fine.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20): Making A Mistake And Not Being Emotionally Strong Enough
Pisces can become insecure when they feel as though they've done something wrong. Which, according to Wright, tends to be often. "They worry about saying something wrong or making you feel bothered," she says. "Their insecurities lie in a feeling of being less-than what anyone could need or want." That's because they tend to equate that to being unloved.
Other than that, Pisces are also known for being sensitive. They don't like conflicts of any kind. So according to Mckean, one of their big insecurities might be not being strong enough for their partner. "Interestingly, they are one of the most resilient of signs because of their ability to be non-judgmental," she says. "However, if you're critical, you may want to curb that if you're involved with a Pisces."
Everyone is insecure about something. The good news is, that doesn't have to ruin your relationship if you don't allow it to. Knowing what makes your partner worry can help you better understand them. Once you and your partner are familiar with each other's fears, you can make adjustments and move forward from there.